King of Eagles: Greetings, Frodo! I’m here to fly you back to Rivendell!

Loki (as Frodo): Wait! You could have flown here the whole time?

King of Eagles: Of course! You’re the winner of Survivor: Middle Earth.

Loki (as Frodo): WHAT?!

Loki (as Frodo): So, my life is just someone’s idea of entertainment?

King of Eagles: All will be explained shortly–

Loki (as Frodo): I don’t believe this! I spent six months walking to Mordor in my bare feet!

King of Eagles: I just need you to sign this release form giving us full broadcast rights.

Loki (as Frodo): Are you out of your mind? What if I refuse?

King of Eagles: Then we’ll autotune the outtakes into a crappy music video.

Loki (as Frodo): SWEET!