Leaving the Web: A Note from the Primate

TL;DR I converted to Jedi so I will be giving up my attachment to the internet. Or maybe I already have.

It’s not you, it’s me. And I still like you!

Here’s an essay about it if you’re bored:

Leaving the Web
Leaving the Web

I expect some of you already know I spent October and November doing Alternate Reality Immersion Fitness, and others of you have no idea. Some people walk to Mordor while eating protein bars, others do WWII Boot Camp and play paintball, still more immerse themselves in Klingon Culture and (I imagine) drink a lot of prune juice. I already did Roman and Zombie immersion fitness so I designed my own program after getting some professional help with the current science of dynamic warmups and interval training.

I would have gone Minbari but I wasn’t sure which caste I am and I don’t like spicy food, so I chose Jedi Training, a combination of (generally) daily workouts/sparring tests (sometimes for hours), meditation, mindfulness, simple foods, the appreciation of clean water– and virtual sequestration wherein I was only allowed a half hour of web access per week. No attachments, you know.

That includes news and email.

So, yeah, I’ve been ignoring my email.

You know what I missed? One email from a friend and an announcement from an author I love, both just before Halloween when my 3YO had 4 Halloween parties to attend as Iron Man (because I wouldn’t let him be Deadpool– not that it wouldn’t be cute but we had already made the Iron Man armor). I also missed a few newsletters that weren’t time-sensitive or that I wouldn’t have been able to help with, anyway. The rest was junk or useless.

Oh, and OMG! DEADPOOL TEST FOOTAGE and WHOO-HOO! DOCTOR STRANGE! :D But I was just as excited seeing all that news late as I would have been to see it first. So no damage.

I expected to come back to all of my online haunts this month, but I’ve found the real world, (or the alternate reality world?), so rewarding I’ve decided instead to keep my access to under an hour a week. I’m back to a normal weight, I’m getting tons of special projects done (like butterscotch daleks), and I have the energy to play with a three-year-old who hasn’t napped for almost, well, three years.

Leaving the web is the next logical step in my long-term devotion to happiness, minimalism and simplicity. Why else would I stay on a dumbphone– besides that it’s about as attractive to thieves as an orange Volvo?

My leaving is not a reflection on the worth of the posts of the people I follow, and it’s no fway a condemnation of anyone who chooses to stay connected.

It’s more like I’ve decided to go straight home instead of visiting a neighborhood pub I have a fondness for. I’ve been going to said pub for over twenty years and it’s time (for me) to do something else and come back only for special occasions.

(Also, Jedi trials are in January. If I want to graduate to Knight I have to keep training, heh.)

How can I arrange ARIF for a New Year’s Resolution?

I expect someone may stumble onto this and realize immersion may be more fun and work better for them than walking on a human hamster wheel. I know it does for me.

If you want to try Alternate Reality Immersion Fitness, or whatever your friends may be calling it in your area, and you have some experience with exercise and safety and the go-ahead from your doctor, you can get some good ideas at Nerd Fitness. The rest you’ll have to adapt from whatever culture you’re immersing yourself in.

Write up your plans for 8-10 weeks so you have goals, with the understanding that old injuries and over- or under-estimating yourself may require editing. By goals, I mean “I want to be this good”, not, “I want to weigh this much.”

If you don’t have any experience with exercise and safety, save up some credits and find a like-minded and bored personal trainer to help you. (Hint: Almost all of them are bored.) Or get a group of friends and research together.

Aaaaaaannnnd… FADE OUT.